Fathers Also Experience Reduced Sexual Desire After Welcoming a Newborn

Discussion in 'Health and Relationships' started by EDCHAT®, Aug 9, 2013.

  1. EDCHAT®

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    Changes in a mother’s sexual interest after she gives birth has long been documented in previous research.

    Now a new effort is aimed at understanding how the partner adapts after a little one arrives.

    Published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the study found a number of factors that reduce the sexual interest of both partners following the recent birth of a child, including fatigue, stress levels and lack of time.

    Yet the same partners can also feel a greater desire and need for intimacy, the study revealed, often due to the time constraints of having a newborn.

    For the study, 114 partners of postpartum women completed an extensive online questionnaire about sexual desires and behavior following the three-month period after birth.

    Both male and female partners of postpartum women were included.


    “Fatigue was the top deterrent

    to sexual desire after pregnancy.”

    “We found that, like birth mothers, fathers and co-mothers experience sexual highs and lows during the postpartum,” said lead author and psychologist Sari van Anders, of the University of Michigan.

    Personal fatigue was found to be the top deterrent to sexual desire in the months after pregnancy, followed by stress and time constraints.

    The top factors driving the mother’s sexual interests were found to be genuine feelings of intimacy and their partner’s desire for sex.

    Source: The Journal of Sexual Medicine via medicaldaily.com. Photo source: telegraph.co.uk.
     
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  3. Sarabeara

    Sarabeara EdChat™ Nomad

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    I believe a lot of fathers do experience a decrease to their sex drive when welcoming a new born. I believe that this is mainly because of stress. Babies are demanding of both parents and fathers are usually the number one helper when a postpartum doula is not involved. I think that also seeing your partner go through so much pain during birth would do a bit to decrease the sex drive in a father.
    Another thing to consider is that women can't have vaginal sex for at least 6 weeks after birth and the longer men go without sex the lower the sex drive.
     
  4. tasha

    tasha EdChat™ Esquire

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    I would think that stress is the major cause here because nobody realises just how much of a life change a baby truly is. The men get stressed by the crying and screaming from the baby and then get a little distrubed by the process of things that have occured in the 9 months with mom. Who wants to get intimate with a screaming infant sharing your room and cleaning up all sorts of things that you haven't had to do before. Life changing event for both the mom and dad and yes, the drive doesn't continue on much after that.
     
  5. jeremy2
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    jeremy2 EdChat™ Nomad

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    From experience, my sex drive normally takes a dive after each birth(i have 2 kids). The main reason is primarily fatigue because of the increased roles that i have to play to support my spouse around the house. We each take time to cuddle the baby and since babies are most active at night, the thoughts of sex are greatly diminished
     
  6. missbookworm

    missbookworm EdChat™ M.Ed

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    I don't have any kids yet, so I couldn't really tell. But in my opinion, I think this study is somehow true. Since both the husband and wife are pretty busy with their new roles as parents of a newborn child, they don't have much time anymore to think about sex.
     
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  7. briannagodess
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    briannagodess EdChat™ Esquire

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    I remember back when our son was just a few weeks old, my husband and I would take turns sleeping just so someone is awake for the baby. It was quite exhausting since there is also chores to be done as well. And maybe that's the reason why fathers have reduced sexual desire as well. The truth is, more fathers are hands-on with the babies nowadays. Some even choose to stay at home to take care of the kids. And as a mom, having to take care of a kid all day and work at night, believe me, I know just how sex is the last thing on my mind at the end of the night. Lol.
     
  8. Shenwil
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    Shenwil EdChat™ Esquire

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    I can understand why a fathers sex drive would decrease after birth. They will have to be helping the mother out and get as tired as the mothers will be so the sex drives of both parents will definitely be low but there are intermittent points when both can have a surge in their sex drives.
     
  9. c.shielaann

    c.shielaann EdChat™ Esquire

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    Yes because they also experience the stress and fatigue of adjusting. A father is obviously a parent he may not able to experience what mothers went through but he fights his own battle too. The pressure of working harder to provide a good and stable future for his family is the main cause of his decreased sexual behaivior.
     
  10. jessie271

    jessie271 EdChat™ Nomad

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    I think so. It's simply because of the responsibilities they have for their child. They have to think about more important things in their lives than just sex. They now have to think for the future of their family and how to give their child a better future.
     
  11. Tehilah27

    Tehilah27 EdChat™ Esquire

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    Wow, I had no idea. Taking care of and being responsible for another life is a huge responsibility and would surely be the source of anxiety for both parents at least in the first weeks after the baby's birth. This would however only apply to fathers who are taking an active interest in their newborn and in his care. Some men leave all of that to the woman so I don't see them being as stressed as the woman.
     
  12. Dekaron
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    Dekaron EdChat™ Nomad

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    After waiting for so many months for my wife to give birth to my first born, my sexual urges build up and wanted to have sex with her the moment she is ready. But after weeks and months my sexual urge began to slowly drop. I guess it's because of the fact that we now have a child to take care of, rather than have sex whenever we want to. A child is more precious than sex, I guess we all agree to that.

    But I still admit of wanting to have more sex once in while.
     
  13. Andrijana15

    Andrijana15 EdChat™ Esquire

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    That's true. After I gave birth to our son, my husband and I both didn't even think about it for a month or two. We wanted to spend as much time as possible taking care of our baby, my husband used to work at night, I was with the baby whole the time, there are also chores and we were tired. After that we wanted to, but didn't have the time. We needed some time to pass so that we could find a way to work it out.
     

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