Falling out of love

Discussion in 'Health and Relationships' started by angelicagapit, Mar 12, 2014.

  1. angelicagapit

    angelicagapit EdChat™ Esquire

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    I always hear of amazing love stories, then at the end comes a divorce. I'm just so confused with how people can be so in love and in the end, just give up.

    I'm madly in love at the moment and I'm extremely happy with the person I'm with. I would never want to fall out of love.

    Why do people fall out of love and how do you prevent it from happening?
     
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  3. Pink Glitter

    Pink Glitter EdChat™ B.Ed 2.1

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    I read somewhere that love is not a word it's a verb. This means that love is something you have to work toward build on and nurture. Too many people mistake lust and infatuation for love.They think their feeling have changed but , what they don't realize is what they were feeling had nothing to do with love. I think if you want to keep the love going in a relationship you have to cherish it and not take it for granted.
     
  4. Vatrecia

    Vatrecia EdChat™ Nomad

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    Sometimes relationships aren't planned most people jump into relationships thinking they are in love.
    that they settle for people that treat them like dirt, the reason the relationship never stays afloat is because deep down they never knew each other.

    Fights break out, arguments, disagreements somebody want to be right instead of wrong.
    Abuse takes place making it hard to feel strongly about yourself. Love is possible if there is no type of abuse from either end.
    All listen to each others opinion on things, without making faces, or cutting each other off.
     
  5. Dora M

    Dora M EdChat™ Nomad

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    I regard love as something that is flowing freely without any restriction. You allow the person or persons whom you love to be themselves and true to their nature.
    Nobody likes to be criticised or told what to do. That's where a lot of relationships start falling apart. If you can see your loved one as a free and independent being at all times, then respect and a deeper mutual understanding will develop. I believe that true love is not something that is binding, but a gradual growth that will lead to fulfilment on many different levels. Love also means to let somebody go when they suddenly see a new path in front of them that doesn't include you. Always remember that you can't "own" another person.
     
  6. Amir King

    Amir King EdChat™ Nomad

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    Its just one of those thing in life. You never know who you will fall in love with or who you will fall out of love with. It takes a lot to make a relationship.
     
  7. Sweetkymom

    Sweetkymom EdChat™ Nomad

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    A relationship takes two to actually work. If theres love on both sides, the relationship will continue to blossom. The moment someone has doubts, that's when the love fades away.
     
  8. AmYy
    Amused

    AmYy EdChat™ Nomad

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    Just like it comes to you and makes you think you can't live without it, love can also leave the place in your heart where it used to be placed. It usually happens when one of the sides is not interested enough anymore or doesnt make any effort to make the relationship better and fresh.
     
  9. xTinx
    Breezy

    xTinx EdChat™ Esquire

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    Just treat your relationship like a plant. You plant the seeds and once it grows, you nurture it with water and sunlight on a regular basis. Every human being has the tendency to fall out of love, seeing as we constantly interact with various people and do all sorts of things to keep us happy. That is why experts always advice couples to try and add some spice and variety to their relationship. Redundancy and routines take the excitement and intimacy out of relationships.
     
  10. shandrum

    shandrum EdChat™ Nomad

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    Love is so many different things and yes, it is a wonderful feeling. So the question is "why do people fall out of love" well, I'm not an expert, but I have a few thoughts through my experience of why people lose the spark that they once had when love was fresh. I believe it all stems from communication or the lack of communication in a relationship. So, I would make sure that you and your love have great communication and you can really talk about all issues openly. If the lines of communication are weak in the beginning and you are just relying on physical attraction to sustain your relationship, than you may have a problem that may lead to much bigger problems years down the road.
     
  11. Kip Curtis

    Kip Curtis EdChat™ Nomad

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    Love is a many sided emotion. The first rush of love, the falling in love, the daydreaming and powerful attraction, all of those feelings and experiences are part of the initial components of what may or may not become a relationship. You could never imagine falling out of love with this person. We have all be there. But for love to reach the next level, you do need to fall out of love. That initial love is a chimera. It is teaming pheromones and brain stimulants that are hard wired. We need the powerful attraction to complete the childrearing deal. Human infants are born fetuses and requires at least two and half years of constant attention in order to survive and develop in a healthy way. Biology has evolved to keep the couple together for that period. But those feelings are not created on the basis of the truth of the other, but the fantasy of the other. As the truth becomes more and more revealed. Simple things like the cycles of consumption and waste that we all generate daily, to the rhythms of work and play, to much more complex webs of existing relationships -- mothers, fathers, siblings, friends. These truths will eventually overwhelm the falling in love juices and then, and only then, will the underlying love bond be revealed or be found wanting. You must fall out of love, see the other person for their savage edges and unmentionables, and decided whether or not to forgive. In that forgiveness comes the deeper love, the true love, the love that binds lives together. At least that has been my experience.
     
  12. popcorn365
    Thinking

    popcorn365 EdChat™ Nomad

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    Love is a verb. It is an action word and you choose it. It doesn't chose you. You make a choice to love someone and commit to someone and to "fall out of love" is an excuse to not be with someone anymore. Marriage is hard. It takes work and dedication and forgiveness and patience. Those are all things that you choose to do to have a successful marriage. To love someone is no different. It is a choice that you make.
     
  13. tasha

    tasha EdChat™ Esquire

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    You can't help falling out of love it just happens. Most marriages have that atsome stage because they are with the same person day in and day out, financial stress, kids and work get in the way of a carefree relationship which causes arguments. Other things are that they get so busy nobody gets attention and finally it just fizzles out. You can try to re- ignite the spark that was there but often it doesnt happen. In other relationships falling out of love can happen because you met the wrong person to begin with.
     
  14. jeremy2
    Cheeky

    jeremy2 EdChat™ Nomad

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    People fall out love because the reasons that brought them together in the first place were not the important factors that make a relationship last.People need to know and understand each others interests at the initial stages of dating to avoid friction at later stages. It could be that you were simply infatuated at the beginning so it helps to know each other a little better first.
     
  15. camella wallace
    Adorable

    camella wallace EdChat™ Esquire

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    I think most of the time relationships fail because persons were never compatible from the start, there are also other partners who just cannot openly communicate...just about anything can let a relationship go downhill if it's not dealt with in the proper manner...at times it's just some simple misunderstanding. We are humans we all fall short at times.
     
  16. Taylor

    Taylor EdChat™ PhD

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    I never was in love. I jadedly believed that being "in love" was temporary and secondary to finding someone that I could get along with forever. As time passed, I realized that being in love really was important to me. It was special and I was missing out.
     
  17. Juno

    Juno EdChat™ Nomad

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    I don't think anyone ever wants to fall out of love. It's something that happens due to circumstances. Often times people marry for the worn reasons, thinking that the attraction they have is true love and they can make it work, but eventually living together becomes harder than they realized. Other times people fall in love very young and they grow up to be very different people, before they know it, they can't get along anymore. I think some of these people still love each other, but they want different lives.

    I have seen other people have grand weddings and everything looks good on paper, but inside there are issue from the beginning of the marriage.
     
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  18. Nikkishea21
    Cheerful

    Nikkishea21 EdChat™ Nomad

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    It is not something that is planned or something that just happens to a couple overnight. It is true that at the start of relationships all is not revealed about each other and there seem to be a spark that lights up both individuals and you just feel immensely happy. This i believe is a part of human nature. Over time, this may continue as they relationship progresses if the two are compatible or it may just get sour upon discovering that you cannot exist as a couple. It just have to do with the energy that comes with your relationship and how much of the truth is brought to the forefront in the initial stage.

    I hope that you remain in your present state and you do not encounter the negative side of being in a relationship.
     
  19. Mpho Ashworth
    Busy

    Mpho Ashworth EdChat™ Esquire

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    I agree with a lot of people here. Sometimes we mistake lust and infatuation for love. What many people don't realise is that once you get past the honeymoon period and the lust subsides, you then need to nurture and feed the love that you have for each other. I think that true love builds and changes shape over time, and grows deeper through effort from both parties. Love is more than just sex, the sparks and actually takes some work to keep it alive. Nowadays people give up too soon as they don't want to have to put in the effort, sadly.
     
  20. missbookworm

    missbookworm EdChat™ M.Ed

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    Well, some relationships really don't work at all probably because of their differences. And if you couldn't accept the fact that your partner has flaws, and shortcomings, it's likely that you'll fall out of love with that person. Another reason why people break up is because of lack of communication, and there's always misunderstanding between the two of you.
     
  21. Caguioa747

    Caguioa747 EdChat™ Esquire

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    Love is not all or nothing. It has seasons. You will not feel like you’re in the spring of love throughout your relationship. This doesn’t mean you call it quits. It just means you are at that part of the cycle of love. Give it time. Nurture your relationship and spring will roll back around eventually.
     

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